Month: September 2019

Cat: There you are! You’re back! Where have you been?

Me: I’ve been at work.

Cat: Again? Why do you keep going to work?

Me: Hmmmm. It’s hard to explain.

Cat: Can you throw some of my toys at me please?

Me: Okay, here is your fluffy ball with a bell inside it.

Cat: Wheeee! I love this one.

Me: Here is your toy dog that smells like catnip.

Cat: Yay! I love to biff this!

Me: Here is your piece of wool.

Cat: Yippee! It tastes nice!

Me: Here is the leaf you brought inside yesterday.

Cat: Amazing!

Me: Did you miss me?

Cat: Can I tell you what that other cat who lives here did today?

Me: Yes, what did she do?

Cat: She ignored me!

Me: (trying to sound surprised) REALLY???

Cat: I don’t know why she won’t play with me! I tried everything I could think of to get her to play!

Me: REALLY???

Cat: I skipped all around her and she just sat there and stared into space!

Me: REALLY???

Cat: Then I rolled on my back and put my feet in the air and she just kept staring into space.

Me: REALLY???

Cat: Then I tried to sneak up behind her and bite her and she just walked away!

Me: You know, she is older than you and she does not play much anymore. Some cats don’t play much when they get older. Do you remember me telling you that yesterday?

Cat: Oh yes, that’s right, you did tell me that!

Me: Also, she does like to conduct herself with a certain amount of dignity.

Cat: Dignity? What does dignity mean?

Conversations with the cat #2:

Cat: “Hello! I jumped in the basin! What are you doing?”

Me: “Actually , I’m cleaning the basin.”

Cat: “Why?”

Me: “Well, for a start I want to wipe up your muddy footprints that you have just put around the basin when you got into it.”

Cat: “Oh, do you need me to move?”

Me: “Yes, that would help please.”

Cat: “Okay, I will jump up on this shelf and watch you from there.”

Me: “Eeek! No, not that shelf!”

(Sounds of things falling off a shelf)

Cat: “This is so cool! Every time I move on this shelf, something falls off it!”

Me: “Okay, I am going to lift you off that shelf.”

Cat: “Purrrrrrrrr”

Me: “Awwwwww. Did you want a cuddle?”

Cat: “Yes please, purrrrrrrr.”

Me: “Awwww. You can make it very hard to get anything done sometimes.”

Cat: “Purrrrrr. Really? What makes you think that?”